


Beautiful Darkness

by Fanboy_of_Many_Things



Category: Original Work
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mpreg, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-31 02:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13964961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanboy_of_Many_Things/pseuds/Fanboy_of_Many_Things
Summary: Jake hides a dark secret. He is abused by his father, and uses self harm as a way to escape the emotional turmoil he's in. On the same day he loses his best friend and secret crush Dominic, he is raped for the first time by his step father. He spirals into a deep depression when he finds out that he's pregnant with his rapist's child. Who will save him from this hell?





	1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hi, y'all! Welcome to this story! I hope y'all enjoy it, and, don't forget to review! :)_

* * *

"What's that?"

I look up from the book I'm reading, startled. My best friend Dominic is sitting there, staring at my wrist. And, to my horror, I realise why - my sleeve has slipped down, revealing my cut up wrist.

"N - Nothing," I stammer out. With a trembling hand, I roll my sleeve back up. Dominic sits there, continuing to stare at my now covered wrist. "It was an accident. I'm fine now."

His eyes flick up to mine. I'm left breathless at the beauty of his large, bright blue eyes. They're dark right now, flashing with something I cant quite pick up. He frowns.

"Are you sure, Jake?" he asks me. I nod quickly, gripping the book in my hands.

"I'm sure, Dom," I reply. "Would I lie to you?"

He stares at me for a moment. "I... dont know, Jake," he murmurs. "Lately, you've been acting weird. Different. I dont know when youre lying or when youre telling the truth anymore."

I sigh. "Really, Dom. I'm fine. It was just an accident. I scratched my hand on the bushes by my house. You know the ones, right? They're in the back. The ones with thorns..."

I realise I'm babbling like an idiot and I sigh. I reach my hand into my pocket and curl my fingers tight around my release - the knife I had gotten for my thirteenth birthday two years ago. It's the only thing keeping me sane. It's my anchor to reality. Without it, I will surely succumb to the darkness that is threatening to take me under.

"But, they looked like..." Dom presses, and I growl, irritated. I don't need people worrying about me. There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine. Everything's fine.

"I'm fine!" I suddenly shout, and a few people in the cafeteria turn their heads to stare at me. Angry, I slam my book onto the table, stand up, grab my backpack, and prepare to leave. "Quit worrying about me! I don't want people constantly up my ass about petty things!"

Dom glares up at me. "Are you positive that is what you want,  _Jacob?_ " he asks, and I flinch at his use of my full name. He's only ever always called me either Jake, or his petname for me, Jakey. He only calls me Jacob if he's super pissed at me. Which, I guess he is now. "You dont want me worrying about you?"

"No!" I cry, frusterated. I want to leave. I  _need_ to leave. The urge to make more marks on my wrist is growing stronger.

He snarls, baring his teeth. "Fine, then," he spits out. "From this day forward, I will quit worrying about you. As much as you are concerned, I am not your friend anymore. Got it,  _Jacob?"_

Tears well up in my eyes. No. This can't be happening. I don't want to lose Dom - the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. He's my brother. My best friend. My secret crush. The one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

"Yes," I whisper. I feel a single tear slide down my cheek, and I angrily wipe it away. "I understand,  _Dominic."_

He gives me a nod. "Good," he murmurs.

Hurriedly, I grab my backpack and race out of the cafeteria, heading towards the bathroom.

* * *

"Worthless child!" Robert, my step father, snarls as he pushes me hard against my bedroom wall. "Waste of space! Why don't you just die? Nobody will care if you did, anyways."

I hang my head as tears slide down my cheeks. "I know," I whisper. Thanks to me being stupid, I lost my best friend today. Now, I am alone, and at the mercy of the man whom I fear most.

He punches me in the face, right under my left eye. I don't even cry out. I just take the pain given to me, knowing that I deserve it. He hits me again, this time in the stomach. And, once more in the groin.

Now, I'm hunched over. Robert towers over me. He's huge compared to me. I'm only 5'5 while this man has to be about 6'7. He's muscular, too. He has big, strong arms, a six pack, and a toned stomach. His head is shaved completely bald, and a pair of glasses rest on his nose.

"I'm glad you know where your place is, worthless boy," he says with a devious smile. "But, still, you need to be taught a lesson." I hear him unzip his pants, and I know exactly what is going to happen next. He's going to rape me. He's never raped me before. He's only hit me. To be honest, I'm scared right now. Terrified, to be exact. Still, I let him throw me onto the floor.

He tugs down my pants and underwear, and I bite my lip hard to stop from screaming as pain explodes inside me. Tears slide down my tightly closed eyes. I can hear Robert moaning in pleasure each time he thrusts roughly into me. I feel sick. I feel so dirty, so disgusting. I feel like such a disgusting, dirty whore.

Finally, I feel him cum inside me. He pulls out, and lets go of my hips. I collapse onto the floor, my eyes opened just a sliver. I can see, through my tear blurred vision, Robert zipping his pants back up and exiting the room, finally leaving me alone.

I let myself let out a sob once that bastard's gone. Soon enough, I'm a crying, sobbing mess on the floor. My legs drip with blood and semen, and my ass hurts terribly.

After a few minutes of crying, I push myself up. I groan in pain, and balance myself on my bed when my legs wobble. I pull up my pants and exit my room, hurrying to the bathroom.

I lock myself in and, after I strip, I turn the hot water on high, grab my knife, and climb in. I pull the curtain close before pressing my knife to my wrist and slashing at my skin.

My tears mix with water as they slide endlessly down my cheeks. My body trembles. I soon manage to calm down, all thanks to my knife. I stare at my arm. The cuts are deep. Deep enough to see white fat beneath my skin. Blood spills from them, dripping into the bathtub and turning the water pink.

Once done, I clean my wounds, dry off, and put on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt. I climb into bed, and curl up into a small, trembling ball. I close my eyes tight and, soon enough, I am falling fast asleep, dreaming of my step father, my knife, and my ex-best friend, Dominic.

* * *

_A/N: Don't forget to review! :D_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Hi, everyone! Welcome to chapter 2! Don't forget to review!_

* * *

It has been a few weeks since my step father had raped me, and I feel like shit. I can barely get out of bed in the morning, and I cant keep anything down. Still, I force myself to go to school. I need to get away from that bastard Robert. He might hurt me again, and I can't deal with that pain.

Dom, of course, has been avoiding me. Whenever I meet his eyes, he looks away. He's been hanging out with his other friends Owen and Kyle instead of me. I feel hurt, replaced. How could he do this to me? But, then, I remember that I have done this to myself. I was stupid and lost the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I sigh as I reach into my locker and pull out the books I need. I shove them into my backpack before turning around and heading towards my last class of the day. But, to my horror, I am met with two pairs of eyes. They're both narrowed, both full of anger and hate.

It's Tristian and Wade. AKA... my bullies since grade school.

"H - Hey, guys," I stammer out. "Long time no see, huh?"

Wade growls. Wade is the captain of the football team, while Tristian is the quarterback. They are also in wrestling, plus they lift weights everyday after school. They're two of the biggest, strongest guys in the school, and, to be honest, I am terrified of them.

"Shut up, sissy boy!" Wade hisses,and pushes me hard against the lockers. I bite my lip to keep from crying out. "Give us your money! All of it, and we'll leave you alone, at least for today."

"But... I need that money," I tell them while fishing in my pocket for my wallet. "How am I going to buy lunch?"

Tristian laughs loudly. "Guess your on your own for that, huh, faggy?"

Tears well up in my eyes as I hand them all the money I have - forty five dollars. Wade grins and shares a high five with Tristian. "Are ya tomorrow, cocksucker!"

Then, they are gone. I breathe out a shaky sigh. I feel sick. Even more sick than I had felt earlier. I can feel bile rising up in my throat. I can't hold it back. Soon enough, I am throwing up all over the hallway floor.

"Gross!" a girl cries, and then burst out into a fit of laughter with her friends. Some other jerks laugh, too.

I slide down the locker and close my eyes. I suddenly feel a warm hand rest on my shoulder. I look up to see a boy who I know is a grade older than me,and is named Mack.

"Hey," he says softly. "Want to go to the nurse? You don't look so good, plus you just threw up."

I weakly nod my head before letting Mack help me to stand up. My legs wobble, but I clutch tightly onto the older boy for support. We walk down the hallway, avoiding the vomit which a janitor is in the middle of cleaning up. I feel dizzy and the urge to vomit rises again.

"I'm... I'm going to throw up!" I cry as we reach the bathroom.

Mack lets go of me and I sprint into it, and into a stall, before vomiting up whatever I had eaten that day. Mack is next to me, rubbing my back. "Easy there, bud," he murmurs. He combs his fingers through my long black hair, before holding it out of my face.

Finally, I am done. Mack helps me stand up, and we walk to the sinks, where I rinse out my mouth and wash my hands. "All better?" Mack asks me, and, though I still feel queezy, I nod.

"C'mon, then," Mack says with a soft smile. "Let's get you to the nurse, alright?"

* * *

"How long have you been feeling ill, Jacob?" Mrs. Beatrice, the school nurse, asks me softly as she types away at her computer.

I look to Mack, who is sitting on a chair next to the doctor's bed I am laying on. He gives me a small smile, and I cant help but blush. "Um... For a few weeks, I think," I tell her.

She looks up at me, staring at me through her thin framed rounded glasses. "I know this is a rather personal question, but have you had sex recently?"

I blush again, and hang my head, letting my long straight hair fall in front of my eyes. I cant let her know. I cant let anyone know. "N - No," I stammer out, looking back up through my long bangs.

"Oh," she murmurs. "Well, if you had, I'd say you were pregnant," she tells me. "Some boys can get pregnant. Did you know that?" I shake my head. "If you were born with female reproductive organs, you could. But, since you said you haven't recently had sex, I don't have to take the tests to find out if you really were pregnant. So, my guess is, that this is just some stomach bug that you've caught. It'll go away in a few days."

My face has gone pale now, highlighting my rosy red cheeks. I chew at my bottom lip. Pregnant. I can't be pregnant. For one, I'm a boy. Boys -  _normal_  boys - can't get pregnant. I'm a freak. A disgusting freak.

The bell rings. "Alright, you two. You'd better get back to class," Mrs. Beatrice tells us, handing each of us a pass. I take mine and shove it into my pocket, right by my knife.

* * *

I'm currently slashing at my wrist. Pregnant. The word keeps repeating itself over and over inside my head. Pregnant. I'm pregnant, with my abusive step father's child. This can  _not_  be happening. I don't want to be a freak.

_I hate you, Robert,_  I think, pushing my knife deeper into my wrist.  _I hope you're happy. You've made me a freak. Now, I will surely go to hell._

* * *

_A/N: So... Jake meets Mack. Will he save him from his hell, or will Dom come around, and see that he's doing more harm than good by leaving his best friend?_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Hi, everyone! Welcome to chapter 3! I really hope you all like it, and don't forget to review!_

* * *

I am shoved roughly against the wall by Robert. He has a crazed look in his dark eyes. They glare down at me, narrowed threatengly. His lips are curled backwards into a snarl, showing off his crooked, yellow stained teeth.

"Worthless little boy!" Robert yells into my face. His breath reeks of alcohol and cigarette smoke. I gag, but swallow down the bile when I feel it creeping up my throat. "Disgusting piece of shit!"

He punches me in the stomach. Maybe, it he keeps this up, he'll kill the demon child inside of me. That way, I don't have to give birth to it. Making up my mind, I give Robert a quick shove in the chest. I'm going to purposely anger him so that he continues to punch me in the stomach. I dont want this monster inside me. I want it out. To me, it is simply a parasite, something leeching off of me.

Robert punches me in the side. "I hate you!" I yell out. Tears of frustration slide down my cheeks. "I hate you so  _fucking_ much!"

Robert slaps me hard in the face. "Don't you  _dare_ raise your voice at me, stupid boy!" He slaps me hard again. "Little pieces of filth such as yourself should know where their place is. I guess we're going to have to teach you another lesson..."

I know exactly what is coming next. Robert yanks off my jeans and underwear before throwing me roughly onto the floor. I hear him unzip and tug off his own pants before, once again, preparing himself at my entrance.

I bite my lip to keep from crying out. I squeeze my eyes tight as tears slide down my cheeks. The pain... God, the pain. It hurts like hell. It feels as if something is tearing me apart from the inside. I can feel blood and semen already trickling down my legs. A short moment later, hear Robert groan out before he pulls roughly out of me.

"That felt good," Robert says with a smirk. "Didn't it, Jakey boy?" He gives my ass a pat, and my cheeks heat up in humiliation. I'm glad no one else is here. I'm glad it's just Robert and I. If anyone else saw what a disgusting, filthy whore I am, they'd laugh in my face. That, I am certain.

Robert leaves shortly after, leaving me alone once again. I push myself up off the floor, grab my pajamas and knife, and head towards the bathroom. I slam the door loudly before turning on the hot water on high and climbing in.

The pain of the knife brings me back to the surface, where I had previously been sinking into the darkness. I make large, ugly looking marks all the way down my arm. When I run out of space, I slash up the other arm. Soon, I am a bloody mess.

It's funny how this has become my life. I wonder what mom would think if she knew what a disgusting piece of filth I turned out to be. She'd hate me, for sure. She'd distance herself from me. She wouldn't even look at me.

I bite my bottom lip when feel hot tears sting my eyes. God, I'm such a crybaby. I'm a fifteen year old boy, for Christ's sake! I shouldn't be crying as much as I do! I feel like such a whimp, such a pathetic loser.

Robert is right. I don't deserve love. I don't deserve happiness. I don't deserve anything good. I deserve to suffer. I deserve to feel pain.

* * *

"Go die, worthless freak!" Wade yells into my face, before kneeing me in the stomach. Tristian laughs loudly from behind him.

"Yeah, faggy boy!" he says between laughs. "Why don't you do us all a favor and die? Believe me, nobody will miss you when you're gone."

I bite down on my bottom lip. Though it is true, the words still hurt. I can feel tears sting my eyes, and, to my horror,I feel one trickling down my cheek. Wade and Tristian share a look before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"Oh, poor Jakey-boy," Wade mocks, a smirk on his ugly face. "Boo-hoo! Did we hurt your feelings? Did  _we_ make you cry?"

I sink my teeth deeper into my bottom lip. I look away from Wade and Tristian. The hallway is empty. Not even a teacher to be seen. I am alone and at the mercy of my bullies.

Wade yank hard at my hair. "Too bad, sissy fag!" he says. "I'm not going to stop making your life hell! You deserve to feel pain! You deserve to suffer!"

Suddenly, Wade is gone. I blink, and look to my right when I hear groaning and begging. To my great surprise, I see Dom on top of Wade, pounding him in the face. And, to my even greater surprise, I see Mack pounding at Tristian.

"If I  _ever_ see you anywhere near that boy again, you will be sorry," Don threatens. "Is that understood?"

"Y - Yes, yes!" Wade says. "Now, get off me!"

Dom gets off him, and, instantly, he and Tristian flee the scene. Dom and Mack instantly to to me. "You okay?" Dom asks me as his eyes trail over my body, looking for any wound.

"Y - Yes," I reply, before swallowing hard. "Just a little... shaken up."

"Thank god you're not hurt," Mack says, pushing Dom out of the way. "If you were, those jerks would be sorry."

I stare up and into Mack's eyes. He gives me a smile. I dont even know this guy, and, yet, he is worried for me? God, no. I can't have people worry I about me. I deserve to suffer alone. So, I push myself out of the way.

"I'm fine," I say, combing a hand through my totaled hair. "I need to get home. Can I go?"

Dom and Mack exchange glances. "If you're sure you're okay, then I suppose you can," Dom says.

I flash him one of my bright, fake smiles. "Alright, then," I tell them. "See you around, 'kay?"

They both nod, before I hurry out of the school, leaving them behind.

* * *

That bastard! Why does he think he can show up and "save" me, when, for the past few weeks, he has been ignoring me?

I slash at my wrist. Tears roll down my cheeks. My teeth are sunk into my lower lip to keep from making any sounds. Robert is here with his friends. They're having a "drinking party" or something. I can't let them hear me cry.

I sniffle. And, who does this "Mack" think he is? We're not friends. I dont even know him. I dont even like him. Yes, he's hot, but that's the only thing I feel towards him. Why does he suddenly show up, pretending to care about me?

My eyes widen. What if this is some big prank? What if Mack is just getting close to me, so that he can hurt me in the end? I cant let myself fall for him. I cant let myself get pulled in. I need to stand my guard. I need to make sure that I don't get hurt again.

* * *

_A/N: Drop a review, please! Pretty please? With a cherry on top? :D_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Welcome to chapter 4, everyone! Sorry it's so short. I kind of had writer's block near the end. Well, I hope you all like it! As always, don't forget to review!_

* * *

A month.

It has been almost a month since I learned I am pregnant. Since I am only one month along, my stomach isn't showing yet. Thank god it isn't. I don't know what I'm going to do when it starts showing. I'm probably not going to go to school. I don't want anyone to know I am a freak.

I drag the brush through my long, tousled hair. I wince in pain as I hit a knot. Of course, I am alone. Robert has gone to work, or where ever he goes when I'm at school. Probably to the bar. That's my guess.

Anyways, I am currently getting ready for school. I'm dressed in an oversized blue sweatshirt and a pair of loose gray sweatpants. I tie my hair up into a low ponytail before exiting the bathroom.

Once in my room, I roll down my sleeve just a little. I trace my fingers over the red, ugly scars. A smile tugs at my lips. I can't wait until school is over so I can add more marks to my collection. I reach into my pocket to hold tightly onto my knife. Only seven more hours. Seven hours of hell.

I grab my school bag and head out the door, making the long journey to school.

* * *

"Mr. Johnson," I hear Mrs. Franklin say. "Can you answer question number six in the book, please?"

I look at my book, which is closed. I open it, and begin to flip through the pages. I hear Mrs. Franklin sigh. "Alright, alright, Mr. Johnson. We get it. You weren't paying attention."

Laughter all around. I can feel my cheeks heat up. I want to dissapear. I'm a boy who's pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and my ass still hurts from when Robert had raped me last night. I'm tired, cranky, and just want to go to bed.

"Why don't you head on down to the principal's office, Mr. Johnson?"

I sigh, but nod. I gather my things before exiting the room and heading towards the principal's office.

* * *

"So, what's the matter, Jacob?" Mr. Butler, the school principal, asks me.

I sink down in the seat I'm sitting on and stuff my hands into the pocket of my sweatshirt. I don't want to be here. As much as I don't like it there, either, I want to be at home. That way, I'll be alone most of the night. Then, I can have some fun with my knife and wrist.

"Nothing, sir," I lie. I used to feel guilty for lying, but now it just comes naturally. I don't feel bad anymore.

"Is something happening at home?" Mr. Butler asks, leaning forward in his chair and raising a big, bushy eyebrow. "Is someone hurting you? Do you feel safe at home? Is that why you're not getting enough sleep, Jacob? Is it because some one is hurting you?"

"No!" I shout suddenly, defensive. "Mr. Butler, I swear nothing is happening at home! Why would I lie about that? No one is hurting me!"

Mr. Butler breathes out a long sigh. "If you say so, Jacob." He scribbles something down onto a sheet of paper before handing it to me. "If I see you here one more time, you're getting a detention. Got it?"

I nod, grab my bag, and hurry out the door.

* * *

Dom texts me later that evening.  _Can I come over? Please? I want to talk._ he writes, and I groan. What would he want to talk about?

_No! You told me that our_ friendship _was over! That we're through! I don't want to see or here from you again!_ I text back.

I can almost hear him sigh, frustrated.  _I guess if that's what you want, Jake..._

I feel tears slip from my eyes.  _Yes. It is what I want._

There is no reply after that. Angry, I throw my phone at the wall. Gratefully, it doesn't break. Feeling an urge, I reach for my knife that sits on my bedside table and begin slashing at my wrist.

I hate this. I hate this so  _fucking_ much. Why do  _I_ have to be the freak? Why do  _I_ have to be the boy who gets pregnant? Nobody wanted me before, and, now, surely they won't want me now. Who would want to love a freaky boy who gets pregnant? No one, that's who.

After I am done, I clean up. Since my other plan didn't work, I begin punching at my stomach, hoping and praying that it will kill the demon parasite inside of me.


End file.
